I'll tell you in short what's going on. I have become dependent on hope. As long as I have the "hope", I am normal, and I feel normal. Hope has become indispensable to me. When certain things happen, that make me lose this hope, I break down, I am not alright.
I know this "hope" is supposed to be false hope, at least that's what the person concerned says and keeps saying, and one of you keep saying that too.