Escapism

Yeah, what I hate the most. But, even I do things I hate myself. I've been escaping emotions by over- sleeping. I have been escaping responsibilities by switching off cellphones. Today morning, I didn't go to see off Payal. Told her that I couldn't wake up early enough. She sympathised. She believed that I could do that. Sleep over. Yeah, she's a friend, because she has the power to cheer me up. Anytime, always. But she doesn't know me well enough. That goes for Sritama, Deshraj etc and a lot of other people. In fact, a LOT. Anyway, I was having troubling dreams again. When I finally woke up, Baba refused to give me money, because I didin't go to college. (He doesn't know that I don't have college!) I managed 70 bucks, though. He added "no cigarettes". I had my breakfast. Then I SMSed a classmate whom I was supposed to meet over coffee in the afternoon that I have some work. Lied to him, eh? Oh no, not entirely, I had work. But not the work which I told him. I need to have a bath, a "mega" one. I need to clean my room. I need to find two books. I need to counsel myself, for whatever reason I'm depressed at the moment. I need time for myself. It's not morning anymore. I have already lost the energy I had woke up with. Let's see how much I can do.